Sometimes the past can be about insecurities needing to be resolved.
However, sometimes it also be about shaming the other person about past grievances. This will push your partner away and keep you living in the past.
For a relationship to grow stronger, validation and forgiveness have to be part of the relationship dynamic.
If one partner is not allowed to move past their actions, if they are continually reminded, both people will lose trust in their partner.
When the past is brought up in conflict, it stops the other person feeling emotionally safe with their partner.
If the partner who committed the injury is never forgiven, they will carry shame and the only thing left for them will be to leave.
Before punishing your partner with the past, consider if you are trying to make them hurt or if you are really struggling to move past the issue.
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