1. Feel unappreciated.
Everyone needs to feel appreciated. Marriage is not about getting your needs met. It is about meeting the needs of your partner.
2. One person feels their opinion doesnt count.
One opinion isn’t the only opinion that is important. Both people in the relationship need to feel they have an equal part in the marriage and in decision making.
3. They dont feel heard.
Positive communication is the key in every marriage. Dont talk over each other. Dont shut the other person down, deflect off what they’re saying, instantly reminding them what they did to you last week!! Don’t play the blame game. Do you call each other derrogative names?
4. Is your marriage performance driven?
Do you say to your partner or think to yourself you will be nice to them when they agree to sex? Or when they decide they will do as they’re told? Is your love for them unconditional or do you place conditions on your love for them?
5. Are there past hurts that still need working through?
Give each other space to do this without pressuring the other
6. Have you both let the marriage go?
Do the demands of the children overtake the needs of the marriage? When was the last time you went out for dinner? Was it a birthday, Valentines Day, Anniversary or maybe dating stopped the moment you married or after the children came along because you both were exhausted? When did you last hold hands in the car or out and about? Romance needs to take place regularly, not just on special occasions.
7. Maybe the reasons your partner is pulling away has nothing to do with you.
There could be things going on at work for them or an issue with one of their close friends. The only way to find out is by sitting down with them and saying “I’ve noticed you’ve been struggling, how can I support you? What do you need from me?” Marriage takes work. It doesn’t just happen. If you noticed your car was not running smoothly, you wouldn’t ignore the signs like warning lights on the dash or maybe you’ve noticed the engine has lost power. You would take the car to a mechanic. A marriage is no different. If you would like your marriage to be better and as good as it was when you were dating, when you were putting more of an effort in, or maybe it is good and you want to make sure it remains that way like servicing your car, make an appointment today. Dont put it off any longer.
