Every relationship is different and that is because no two people are the same.
Each person will have their own needs and desires independent from their partner as well as mutual dreams.
It is healthy to have both. Actually it is necessary to have both. Each person needs their own identity.
But what does every relationship need even with two very different people in it?
Every relationship requires respect. This means respect of the other person’s autonomy. This means to be respectful of them as an individual, their needs and goals.
What does respect look like?
It means to encourage, build up, validate, affirmation, speak with respect, refer to them affectionately. It means to support and be attentive, invested and engaged with what is important to them.
Remember to include the romance and have fun doing it. It might be a night out in a romantic restaurant, a night in watching a romantic movie with take out, a romantic walk or a trip to an ice cream parlour. You are only limited by your imagination.
Have fun at home together. Give those unexpected cuddles and kisses.
It is OK to laugh together.
Trust can be a huge hurdle to get over in relationships once the trust is broken. Deceit and betrayal are like a cancer in the relationship.
Always communicate and be transparent with each other. The only secrets you should be keeping are positive surprises.
When navigating your way through conflict, stay with the issue at hand. Do not resort to name calling, sarcasm, criticism or contempt and do not use punishment to get even.
Listen to understand. Be careful not to respond with “I don’t agree” or “That’s not how I feel” or “A few years ago you did this.”
Allow the other person to have their feelings.
During an argument you might apologise. If you’re apologising for things you said in the heat of the argument, allow the other person time to heal. An apology is not an instant fix. Allow the other person to process their pain.
