Why is this important in a relationship?
When your feelings are not validated by your partner, you don’t feel heard or understood. Sometimes it can feel like you are both on two different planets.
When your feelings have been validated, especially in conflict, you know your partner understands and supports you.
Validation means not putting yourself first in a conflict. It means you have heard your partner, and you empathise with their position.
When your partner comes home after a hard day’s work and they communicate how difficult it was, they are not necessarily wanting you to fix anything.
They just need to be heard and their feelings validated so they feel supported.
What does this look like?
Julie. “Honey, it was really tough today in the office. Jan wouldn’t do her work and it kept getting passed on to me to do it when I had my own work to do!
It really slows me up and then I look like I’m not keeping up with my workload!
I tried talking to my boss about it but she wouldn’t listen to me!”
John. “I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds very frustrating.
What would you like from me? How can I support you?
Would you like me to just hold you?”
This shows Julie she has been heard and her feelings have been validated.
If you can relate to this post and would like to improve your relationship, click on the link below for a booking today.
