It sometimes seems easier to lash out at our partner when we are frustrated, hurt and angry such as
“You never help me!! You’re so lazy!!
You’re useless!!”
Or
“I work very hard for this family and you’ve never appreciated anything I do around here! Youre so spoilt!”
These words leave deep wounds and they’re words you can’t take back.
They label and condemn rather than inviting to understand.
Long term, these words erode the relationship because your partner does not feel they can show up authentically without being criticised.
The Power of Speaking From the Heart.
Healthy communication means instead of attacking you express your needs and feelings.
Instead of:
“You’re selfish for drinking all night at the wedding!”
Try:
“I need to know we are a team. I need you to show up for me. I’d like us to enjoy the night together because we don’t get enough quality time. I miss you when you are drinking because you go off with the boys and I’m left alone.”
Youre not excusing hurtful behaviour. You’re inviting your partner to hear you without feeling attacked.
It’s an invitation to repair, rather than a push toward defence.
Long Term Effects of Our Words
Couples who practice the cycle of blame and criticism eventually drift apart. Not because of any one big fight but because of the ongoing criticism and blame tearing down the relationship.
When couples feel safe to be vulnerable and speak with compassion, they create a safe space for repair.
Disagreements will still happen, however they will be resolved and become opportunities for growth and deeper intimacy.
If you would like to learn more about communicating on a healthy leavel so you both feel heard and understood, I can help you. The first step is to click on the link below for a booking today.
