What happens to a relationship when one person does not speak up?
Firstly, let’s look at the reasons why a partner feels they cannot speak up in their relationship.
There are many reasons why someone would avoid not speaking up.
The main reasons are avoiding the other person’s reaction.
Afraid of being judged by their partner.
Avoiding conflict.
They either grew up with a lot of conflict in the home or they didn’t see their parent’s ever in conflict and therefore they didn’t see conflict resolved. One causes the person to avoid conflict because of how it made them feel as a child and therefore they received the message conflict is bad in relationships and the other makes a person not feel secure in conflict because they didn’t see their parents navigate their way through conflict.
Both examples do not model to children in their adult relationships how to navigate through conflict in a healthy way resulting in a resolution.
A person may avoid conflict because as a child they grew up with a lot of rejection and conflict makes them feel rejected with a possibility of their partner either leaving or throwing them out.
A person may avoid speaking up because each time they do, the other person shuts them down, speaks over them, tells them their feelings, perception or their reality are wrong.
So how does it affect a relationship when someone does not speak up, but instead bottles up their feelings?
It causes resentment, a lack of satisfaction in the relationship because of disconnection caused by the injured party pulling away and disconnecting emotionally, physically and in their communication.
Communication heals a hurting relationship when it is done in a healthy and positive manner.
Each person looks to their partner to feel valued and that they matter to their partner.
This is a natural progression of the relationship.
If you are struggling to feel heard in your relationship, click on the link below to receive a booking to learn the tools of communication in your relationship.
