We teach people how to treat us through what we tolerate.
Maybe it didn’t start out that way and you challenged the other person’s behaviour towards you, however instead of changing, they either became outwardly defensive with abusive communication or they became passive-aggressive through long periods of silent treatment. This caused you to feel not valued, loved or a priority and taken for granted.
This taught you not to speak up in your defence because you didn’t want any more of their behaviour coming back on you so you learnt to retreat each time you were affected by the other person’s toxic behaviour.
Though you are no longer standing up for yourself, your partner doesn’t gain respect for you. Instead, they learn their behaviour is acceptable.
Meanwhile, you feel contempt, critical and angry towards the other person, causing you to pull away emotionally, physically and in communication.
Though you don’t feel emotionally safe to communicate with the other person, communication is the key.
You need to communicate how their behaviour affects you.
If you would like support in this area, please click on the link above for a booking today.
