What is validation and how important is it to your relationship?
Validation is the single most important part of a relationship and done effectively will hold you connected to your partner. Not only emotionally but also physically.
What does validation look like?
Imagine coming home from work to your partner after dealing with a demanding boss. You’re angry and frustrated. You blurt out all your frustrations to your partner. They could keep doing what they were doing before you walked in the door while you talk but they don’t. They stop what they’re doing, turn to you and listen. They’re looking straight at you interested in what you’re saying.
This interaction from your partner tells you, you are valued by your partner and they’re listening.
Your partner doesn’t offer advice or solutions or things you could have said to your demanding boss. They just listen. When you’ve finally got everything off your chest your partner responds with “I’m sorry honey you’ve had such a hard day.” At this point your partner might put their arms around you to comfort you. They might then offer you a hot drink while you relax on the lounge. They bring in drink for both of you and listen more about your day.
Can you imagine how this would feel, to be listened to with such compassion and empathy for you as there partner.
This exchange is only one of many ways to validate your partner. There are many more ways to connect.
Why is validation so important to your relationship?
When a person is validated, they feel heard and listened to. They feel a priority and emotionally safe and connected to their partner. This gives them the confidence to be vulnerable and transparent. When your partner validates you, you naturally want to connect with them.
Can you imagine if both people in the relationship are validating each other daily. The possibilities are endless for a successful long term relationship.
