One of the most important things in a relationship is to feel heard.
This makes each person feel valued, loved, and a priority.
How do you make your partner feel heard? By showing them you are listening, giving your partner your full attention in the conversation and responding to what they are saying.
When two people feel heard, it creates a relationship of safety, friendship and trust.
You should be able to communicate your needs to your partner without fear of their reaction or behaviour.
Part of feeling heard is when you ask your partner to change any unhealthy behaviours towards you and you can see, feel and hear the changes they are making.
When you do not feel heard it makes you feel taken for granted and not appreciated.
Maybe you need your partner to support you in the housework, helping with the children in bath time, meal times, or putting them to bed.
Maybe you just want quality time with your partner after dinner.
When one person has communicated their needs to their partner it is important the other person supports their partner so they feel the relationship is a partnership.
What happens when one person’s needs are not met?
They don’t feel heard, validated, appreciated, loved, cared for, supported, or valued, and they do not feel their relationship is a partnership.
They feel they can not rely on their partner to meet their needs.
This could go on for years in the relationship while one person begins to pull away from their partner. The emotional and physical connection becomes disconnected.
This creates criticism, contempt, disrespect and conflict until one person gives up trying to communicate their needs and they check out.
One partner can check out two years or more before telling their partner they want to separate. The other person may feel blindsided. When the partner explains they have not been heard for the majority of the relationship, the other person then decides they can change.
Even if changes are genuinely made at this point within the relationship, this makes their partner feel even more resentful because the person is only making the changes to save the relationship.
Do not wait until your relationship is falling apart to listen to each other.
Make the changes now.
Listen to your partner.
If you both need support in this area and you would like support and the tools for listening to each other, click on the link below for a booking today and turn your relationship around.
