What happens when children watch their parents cut each other off in conflict, call each other names and put down the children?
How does this affect all the relationships in the home and when the children become teenagers and adults?
Dysfunction is Normalised
Children internalise this as “this is how we talk to each other.”
These patterns of dysfunction are likely to be repeated later in life in their own relationships.
Healthy Communication Skills Aren’t Learned
They struggle to listen, validate, see the other person’s perspective, reply respectfully, show empathy, or speak calmly because it wasn’t modelled to them.
Instead, they become defensive, aggressive in their responses, become dismissive, shut the other person down, and even respond with sarcasm and withdraw.
Self Esteem Can Be Impacted
Constant putdowns, told their opinion is not important, sends the message to a child their voice is not worth listening to. This creates insecurity in the child.
Alternatively, some children fight back by becoming aggressive in nature to feel heard or shutdown rather than communicating feelings and opinions.
Relationships Become Unstable
In a child’s teen years, they may enter friendships or romantic relationships with people who also use putdowns, controlling behaviours, or constant arguing because it feels normal.
In adulthood they may either tolerate toxic dynamics or repeat them.
Emotional Safety Is Missing
When children cannot trust they’ll be listened to respectfully, they may stop sharing altogether or only express themselves through anger.
This can affect their ability to form close, secure bonds later.
Breaking The Cycle Requires Re-Learning
They need to be intentional about unlearning everything they learnt and was modelled with a professional or positive role models.
Skills such as active listening, validating feelings, setting boundaries, and respectful agreement need to be intentionally practiced.
Children raised in dysfunctional environments often repeat these communication styles until they actively recognise and change the pattern.
If your family are struggling to resolve constant conflict and you would like peace in your home, let me teach you healthy communication. The first step is to click on the link below for a booking today.
