When things are off track in a relationship, criticism and contempt can cause mistrust.
The couple has replaced healthy communication with a negative script, writing the story their partner does not care what they think or feel while telling themselves they’re not valued, cared for, or desired and that they don’t matter.
Maybe the other person communicates they’re not happy which is met with defensiveness from their partner because the partner refuses to communicate how they feel.
Maybe one person does not like their partner drinking because of aggression and they feel like they are walking on eggshells around their partner.
They try to communicate how they feel but they’re met with defensiveness and resistance.
The person instantly feels alcohol is more important to their partner than they are.
What the two people have created is a toxic cycle.
The couple have stopped being friends and coming back together after the conflict.
How can a couple repair these issues?
The first thing is communication.
It is important for each person to communicate their feelings about any hurt, pain, and thoughts while listening and validating their partner’s feelings and perceptions.
Keep reactivity out of communication.
Healthy communication clears up misconceptions, assumptions, confusion and misunderstanding.
Each person may realise they have been misjudging their partner unnecessarily.
