Couples often try to avoid conflict. They see conflict as negative within the relationship.
To avoid conflict couples will bury issues rather than addressing them. This means the issues build up until there are so many issues one person or both in the relationship erupt with screaming and shouting. Leading up to the eruption there might be feelings of resentment between the couple because the issues remain unresolved. This is why couples see conflict as a negative.
But what would happen if the conflict was seen as positive within the relationship? The driving force to meeting the needs of each person. One person might say “Honey, I’m really struggling today. I’m sorry if I haven’t been there for you today. I really need your support right now.”
Or
“Darling, I can see that you’re struggling right now. What do you need from me? How can I support you?” If each couple spoke to each other like this, they would receive a much better response than if they were yelling at their partner “Why wont you help me!!! I really needed your support today!! I do everything around here and you never help me!!”
Resolving issues is about the delivery. Treating each other with respect is the key to a successful relationship. Out of respect comes romance and positive communication.
If you’re partner is disrespectful to you, you will avoid intimacy. You may even be passive-aggressive towards your partner. When couples are at war long term, 100% of the time the key ingredients are missing. Respect, Romance and positive Communication. If your relationship is needing repair, look at these 3 ingredients. Are they missing from the relationship? You might ask, “How do I turn my relationship around?”
Put the other person first in the relationship. Start listening to what is not being said. Observe their body language towards you. Women need to be heard. Men want to find solutions to problems while women just want their man to listen. Men need validating in their work and in the home.
A woman needs to be cuddled every day. It helps her feel safe and secure while building up her self esteem and confidence.
Can you imagine how strong relationships would be if couples began and finished with a cuddle every day!! Even little “love” texts to each other throughout the day.
It is about getting back to basics. Remember what you did when you were dating. You probably could not wait to hear from each other first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. Put the romance back into the relationship.
Stop taking each other for granted. Its about unconditional love and respect. It is time to start thinking of yourselves as being on the same team and stop treating each other as the enemy. Start caring for each other again. Find out what your partner needs from you. This comes from asking questions in a gentle tone.
Remember, it is always about the delivery.
