When you first start dating, you are on an emotional high. You are both affectionate, you like to cuddle and hold hands and kiss. When you hold each other, you feel it through your whole body. You feel good because of how the other person makes you feel.
Fast forward 7 years together and your relationship feels stale. You both feel like housemates and a far cry from that couple who were so in love in the beginning. You both feel taken for granted and you may argue or not communicate at all. The cuddles, holding hands and kissing have all stopped. When you go to bed at night there is no cuddling or talking because you are both on your phones. When you are both on the lounge watching a movie, you both are on your phones again. When you both walk in the door from work there is no greeting of affection. You may not eat at the same time anymore and you get your own meals. You stop doing things together and you are now doing activities on your own. You realise you have grown apart. You ask yourselves the questions, “How did we get here?” “Can we fall in love again?” or you Google “Can you fall back in love with your partner?”
The answer to these questions is found in the way the relationship has become stale. Maybe your job roles changed, and your work demands more time off you or now there are children in the relationship and like most couples, you have fallen into the trap of making your child a priority over your relationship.
Parents think putting their children first all the time is doing the right thing by their child/children. The problem with this is their relationship becomes stale because they do not make time for each other.
One partner may make time for themselves outside of the home leaving their partner at home alone and or with the children. The partner left at home develops feelings of resentment and they become critical of their partner.
Life becomes busy; however, the relationship must take a priority. The children will be happier if their parents are happier with each other. If the children see their parents in a healthy and happy relationship, this is setting the children up to have healthy and loving relationships as adults and the opposite is also true if the children are regularly witnessing their parents in conflict with each other or not showing affection.
So how can you Fall Back in Love with your Partner?
The answer lies in going back to basics. What does this look like? Go back to holding hands, cuddling, holding each other, cuddling in bed, putting the phones down when you are both together. Make time for each other to go on date nights, go for walks, go out for breakfast on weekends or for lunch, or dinner on a Friday night.
Start to put each other first and remember you are both on the same team. Stop the criticism, deflecting, name-calling and arguing. Try listening to the other person and try to understand from the other person’s perspective. Ask the other person what they are needing from you and ask them about their day.
Do not talk about your relationship to other people. This brings their attitudes and opinions into the relationship. People make opinions based on their own internal messages and life experiences. Try not to look to other people for support. Show vulnerability with your partner and express how you are feeling. You may find they have similar feelings too.
Start praising each other in the home. Acknowledge the efforts of the other person. If there are children, build up the other parent to the children. When one parent is criticising the other parent to the children, this is undermining that parent to them.
Men and women are wired differently. Men need respect and a lot of validation in the home for what they do, even if the wife does the same chores without expecting validation.
The wife needs encouragement and affection. Both these things will strengthen the emotional and physical connection of the relationship and the couple will find they look forward to seeing each other after work. They will begin to want to spend time together. It is better for a child/children to have their parents together long term in a happy and loving relationship.
We hope this article helps with the topic on: Can You Fall Back In Love With Your Partner? For more professional advice and help you can book an online counselling session.
