When you’re in a dysfunctional relationship, you know something needs to change. You can only change you. You can’t force another person to change if they don’t want to. No amount of arguing will change them if they are not willing to make those changes.
This is when we find ourselves stuck in dysfunction.
So what is the answer?
Boundaries are not about controlling the other person. You can only take responsibility for yourself.
Only you can decide what you are willing to accept.
If you’re giving someone level 10 access to your time, energy and emotions but they are only showing up level 2x responsibility in how they treat you, that imbalance will always lead to dysfunction unless you put down boundaries.
You cannot force them to rise to a higher level of responsibility.
You can choose to limit their access to you until their actions match a healthier level of trust.
When you set boundaries you are not punishing the other person. You’re protecting yourself. At the same time you’re creating an environment where the other person has the opportunity to step up.
By reducing access, you communicate: “This is the responsibility required to be close to me.”
Some people will take this opportunity to rise and grow but others will not. Either way you have taken your power back from dysfunction.
Boundaries are not there to shut people out. They are doors and you choose who you let in and at what level.
If you would like further support in this area, I can give you the tools you require to empower you in dysfunction.
Click on the link below for a booking today.
