What happens when your relationship becomes transactional and what does this look like?
A transactional relationship is a relationship that works on the currency of tit for tat.
What this means is the attitude between the couple is “Why should I do this for you when you won’t do this for me?”
This attitude will drive two people apart. They are no longer a partnership let alone a team.
This is what it looks like in a relationship.
The husband says he needs validation for what he does around the house.
The wife responds why should she say thank you for what he does around the house for doing things that have to be done when she never gets a thank you for what she does? And then adds…
I will say thank you to him when he says thank you to me!!
This is the damage a transactional relationship has on two people.
It leaves them permanently disconnected, critical, contemptuous as well as lonely, hurting and feeling invalidated, not valued or loved.
So why do we need to validate each other?
When we validate our partner it reminds us of their value, reminding us not to take our partner for granted, as well as building our partner up and in turn building on the friendship, trust, love, emotional and physical connection of your relationship.
It doesn’t make sense to deliberately and continually hurt your partner by keeping from them what they need when it doesn’t cost you anything to meet their needs and build them up.
If you would like support in this area click on the link below for a booking today.
