Central Coast Counselling Blog (14)

Are you in a marriage trying to connect with your wife?

You want your wife to be more connected with you and you don’t know how to reach her.

Sometimes women will tell their husband what it is their needing.

However, their husband is missing the queues.

Sometimes the husband hears the queues and still decides not to listen to his wife then wonders why she has begun to lose interest in him.

It is during these decisions not to listen to her needs that she feels unheard and dimissed.

What he doesnt realise is she has told him how to connect to her heart and he has chosen not to do what she has asked because he hasn’t recognised her attempts to show him how to connect with her heart.

Examples are sometimes as clear as as messaging her husband saying “Honey, I bought a beautiful vase today while I was out.

Could you pick up some flowers on your way home from work.”

Maybe her husband is too tired after working a full day and decides

“I really don’t have the energy to do one more thing. I’ll go straight home.”

What do you think her reaction will be when he walks through the door and she’s waiting expectantly to see flowers?

The husband might think he’s saving himself by saying “I saw your message but I was too tired after work.”

His wife might offer an understanding response with “It’s ok honey. I should have bought them when I bought the vase.”

In the back of her mind she’s making a mental note that she can’t rely on him when she needs to or she maybe feeling he didn’t care enough to drop past a shop on his way home from work because she asked him to.

Looking at the big picture.

What difference in their marriage do you think it might have made if he had just dropped into the supermarket on his way home and picked up those flowers because he recognised this was his

chance to connect with her on an emotional level.

His wife would have felt valued and heard. When your wife feels consistantly listened to she will want to connect emotionally and physically because this makes her feel emotionally safe and connected to her husband.

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