Sometimes our reactions to our partner or our family and even outsiders can come from a deep place within us.
We don’t realise we carry the trauma and burdens of our childhood.
We can push the memories down and think we are not affected by them, however, our body stores the trauma, feelings and memories of how things affected us as children.
So what could it look like if we were affected by things that happened to us or by what we saw or heard?
When things affect us from our past, these are called triggers or learned behaviour.
E.G. You saw your parents scream at each other instead of communicating in a healthy way. They called each other names and were critical of each other.
Things would go flying across the room and this scared you as a child. You would get your youngest brother/sister and distract them in your bedroom with electronics to protect them from the rage.
On top of all of this, your parent screamed at you each time they spoke to you so you would walk away. They would yell at you more for walking away demanding respect.
You thought you had pushed all of this down so it didn’t affect you, but you brought all of it into your marriage.
On one hand, you avoid conflict because of how conflict makes you feel but you find that you are reactive to people, including your family when you don’t feel heard.
What you don’t realise is the child in you has never been healed and you carry the pain and scars combined with learnt behaviours from your parents.
Certain situations set you off. These are called triggers. Triggers are made up of subconscious memories from trauma.
If you recognise these and would like to talk, click on the link below for support today.
