This occurs when two people come together with children of their own.
This can be rewarding while also bringing new challenges for the couple.
Remember you are not just in a relationship with your partner but you are also in a relationship with their children/child.
The children will have their own fears and insecurities around combining the two families. They may even feel they are being replaced by new additions.
This will more than likely bring out behaviour issues of disrespect and verbal abuse towards the parent’s partner. It is especially difficult if the children’s other parent is still in the picture.
It doesn’t have to all be downhill. What is important is to have open communication, never running down the children’s other parent, mutual respect and plenty of unconditional love and patience.
Boundaries are also important but make sure any rules, goals and chores are achievable and age-appropriate.
It is important for the children to see that both parents are on the same team and what one parent says the other parent supports.
It is important for a couple of a blended family to still make their relationship a priority so the weight of a blended family doesn’t divide them.
Remember, the children may still be suffering the pain of their parent’s failed relationship and will need space to grieve and come to terms with their parent’s new partner.
Also, if access is a big part of their lives, they may take out their feelings of powerlessness on their custodial parent and their stepparent rather than the parent they visit. This is because the parents in their new household are safe and secure for them.
Make time to listen to the children’s concerns about their new family. They’re allowed to have their feelings just like their parents. Help them to Channel these feelings in a healthy way such as in an activity, sport or hanging out with friends.
Remember to do fun things as a family to create happy memories such as theme parks, camping, movies, the beach, bushwalking etc.
Don’t expect immediate acceptance from your new additions. Allow them the opportunity to trust you by making time for them.
If you would like support in this area as a family click on the link below for a booking today.
