This depends on how “good you fight.”
What does this mean?
Conflict is useful as a tool in relationships. It is an indication both people have needs not being met.
So how do you make Conflict work for you?
Examine the way you both respond in conflict? Does one or both people do the talking and or yelling?
While one person speaks, is the other person listening to think about what they’re going to say next? They’re not listening to understand the other person’s perspective.
Examine your reaction during conflict.
Is it an overreaction?
Is there a trigger for you during conflict?
When did you feel the same way in your childhood or teenage years?
Could there be a connection?
Is your reaction a response to protecting yourself? If so, what exactly do you think your protecting?
Maybe you have learnt to fight the same way your parents did which maybe dysfunctional but in your home it was normal.
There is something to be learnt about ourselves and the other person from conflict.
Take a step back during conflict and ask yourself the question “Why does this upset me?” Or “Why do I feel the need to defend myself in this way?” Or “Why do I always back down during conflict?” Or “What am I afraid of?”
If you would like to understand how to navigate through conflict together and leave conflict as lovers please click on the link below.
