Coercive control is designed to control and micro manage, exploit, dominate and create dependency on their partner.
Coercion begins with love bombing. The goal of love bombing is to manipulate the person into the relationship. It makes the person feel valued. The target is often a person who is vulnerable and may have recently come out of an abusive or toxic relationship and may have had an abusive childhood. The victim is attracted to the other person making them feel “special”.
What follows once the victim is hooked is gaslighting.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is gradually introduced as rules and regulations for the victim in the relationship. Gaslighting comprises of financial control, controlling who they see and where they go. The victim fears the consequences if they break the rules. The abuser has double standards.
The victim becomes so broken they lose all self and begin to question their own reality and their ability to make decisions.
Victims more often than not do not realise they are living in abuse.
Coercian deprives the victim of their basic rights. The victim’s inner voice of needs and desires are replaced with the voice of their abuser. The victim thinks about the abuser in the original context of when they first begun dating not realising what they experienced was love bombing where they were put on a pedestal and made to feel they were their abusers no 1 priority.
In the beginning the abuser is attentive and thoughtful and appears to be a good listener. But it is really control and information gathering to hold against their victim.
