According to Psychologist and therapist Perpetua Neo, it takes the average person seven times to leave an abusive relationship.
Leaving the abuser can result in the abuser seducing you back. Everything has to be on their terms.
If they are already violent, the violence is likely to increase after you leave or after you return. If you return, you may not get to leave again alive.
The narcissist is likely to cry victim if you attempt to leave. Do not feel sorry for them and give them another chance.
Do not tell the abuser you are planning to leave. They will either love bomb you to stay showering you with gifts and promises, being more attentive or they will increase the abuse.
If you plan on leaving, set up a secret bank account as survival money after you leave. This will need to cover the rental bond of your new home, food, utilities, on-road car expenses etc.
Pack a suitcase of clothing and leave at a friends house. Tell a trusted friend about your plans. You may need support to carry out your escape. Decide on a code messaged by you to a trusted friend if you believe the abuse may escalate so they know to call Police on your behalf.
If you need to, report the abuse after you leave. See your local GP for mental health support. Let your GP know you have left a domestic violence relationship.
Remember, abuse is not always physical. Abuse comes in the form of physical, psychological, verbal, financial, spiritual and sexual abuse.
Ask for a referral to a Counsellor or Psychologist. Having the abuse on record will help you make a case later if you need to do so.
